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2022屆紐約時報社論競賽獲獎作品賞析(二)

一篇優秀的獲獎範文在主題設置,文章框架,行文方法以及敘事手法上都擁有其突出的地方,值得我們藉鑑。

在進行寫作競賽準備時,最快速的提升方法就是學習同類型寫作競賽的經典範文

Aralia特邀王牌寫作名師,同時也是紐約時報社論競賽的往屆獲獎指導教師,為大家帶來紐約時報第九屆社論競賽獲獎作品詳細逐句分析,幫助同學們感悟獲獎作品的魅力,學習優秀寫作技巧,助力相關寫作競賽備賽

獲獎範文逐段賞析

“The spring dance is in two weeks, and my friend needs help choosing a dress. She beckons me to her phone where an endless mosaic of elegant dresses, not one over $20, dances before my eyes. After much deliberation, she settles on a glamorous sapphire gown with pleated details lining the bodice. Another two weeks later, the dress carpets the bottom of a landfill, worn only once.

Welcome to the world of fast fashion.”

Aralia名師解析:

開篇作者用了自己的親身經歷來引出“快時尚”的話題。在最後一句話中的landfill垃圾填埋也與文章主旨環保相結合

Welcome to the world of fast fashion. 這句話在上下段之間起到了很好的承上啟下的作用,為後文中展開介紹“快時尚”的定義設下舖墊

“Fast fashion is a relatively recent phenomenon. During the 1990s, retailers began to introduce trendy, cheaply-priced, poorly-made clothes on a weekly basis, intending to match the breakneck pace at which fashion trends move. Style became cheap, convenient and consumable.”

Aralia名師解析:

本段運用了 trendy, cheaply-priced, poorly-made等一系列的形容詞介紹了“快時尚”的起源以及特點,可讀性較強。

“Fast fashion, however, is ultimately a privilege. It is a privilege to buy clothes solely for their style, and it is a privilege to ignore the environmental consequences of doing so. In reality, the aggressive cycle of consumption perpetuated by fast fashion means that the clothes we wear are now more likely than ever to end up as part of the 92 million tons of textile waste produced annually.”

Aralia名師解析:

開段,作者使用轉折詞However明確清晰地直接與前一段進行轉折。同時本段中92 million tons of textile waste也用數據證明了“快時尚”帶來的對環境破壞負面的影響,數據是非常具有可靠性的論據

“During the pandemic, as stores closed, consumers ditched fast fashion staples such as H&M and Zara, instead opting to order from e-commerce social media sensations such as Shein and Asos. (Shein is now valued at $100 billion, more than H&M and Zara combined.) These brands represent an escalation of both fast fashion and its environmental toll.

These fast fashion newcomers thrived during the pandemic because of their unique business models. They exist entirely online, allowing them to ship the thousands of new styles they release daily to consumers directly from their warehouses, avoiding supply chain snags and U.S. import duties in the process. Meanwhile, a reliance on cheap overseas labor and synthetic textiles keeps prices irresistibly low.”

Aralia名師解析:

這兩段介紹了疫情期間‘’快時尚”的運營情況以及模式,為後文中提到的環境影響進行鋪墊

同時作者也用了大眾熟悉的例子,如H&M等商家,進階證明“快時尚”與大家生活的緊密性。這也側面讓後文中作者所呼籲的行動更加地有必要。

“These practices, however, are hurting the Earth more than ever before. Because these retailers rely solely on international shipping to move their products, they only exacerbate the annual billion tons of greenhouse gasses released by shipping. Virtually all of these brands sell clothes that contain petroleum-based, resource-intensive synthetic fibers such as polyester and nylon. During their lifetime, these fibers are responsible for 35 percent of the microplastics contaminating our oceans and can subsequently take centuries to decompose in landfills.”

Aralia名師解析:

作者再次在開段中運用了however來轉折證明“快時尚”對環境的破壞。並且用了數據證明了衣服面料對海洋以及土地垃圾填埋的影響。邏輯清晰,論證嚴謹。

“Though fast fashion represents an understandably alluring combination of style and savings, now, more than ever, we simply cannot quantify the true cost of our clothing with a price tag. When consumers want to update their wardrobe, they can do so sustainably by thrifting, reworking old garments or researching environmentally-conscious brands.”

Aralia名師解析:

本段清晰明了地將全文進行總結:雖然“快時尚”為人們提供了便利以及時尚的多樣性,但是我們不能僅僅量化地關注與價格。並且作者也為讀者提供了替代“快時尚”購物的其他方式。

“For now, I’ll be at my next school dance rocking the same dress I did last year.”

Aralia名師解析:

最後作者與開篇中個人經歷進行連接,舉了一個可以替代“快時尚”例子–仍然穿一樣的裙子。首尾呼應。

點擊這裡,查看原文。

範文總結

紐約時報官方給出的評分標準中包含:Viewpoint 觀點、Evidence 證據、Analysis and Persuasion 分析與說服力、Language語言、以及Guidelines比賽準則。

本文的結構十分清晰,完美滿足了各項評分標準中的要點,運用了個人的經歷在首尾進行了呼應。在論證方面,作者運用了數據,舉例,以及排比的寫作手法,深扣主題,使得整個文章保持連貫性

其次,官方要求的文章話題是希望學生們深思熟慮過的,作者自身的故事是很好的切入點。加上所列的數據,以及快時尚中具體商家的例子也達到了官方要求的research研究的要求。最點睛的部分就是作者點出的解決方案,這巧妙地達到了官方rubric中a call to action的拿分點

在寫這類文章時,很多同學會大篇幅地依賴research文章的信息,使得論點和論據達不到平衡。所以同學們要更加註意段落結構,以及多加審視所運用的數據或者例子的必要性。

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